Asshole Tonight I-95 Parody

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These are the words:

"Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?

Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an asshole tonight."

Now if I only knew who sang this, because I DO know that it's just a small part of a larger song, I'd go and buy it. If you know, please email me. Thanks, Robrob8.

Push PLAY to play the song (again) it should start automatically!

A visitor to Robrob8.com tells me that THE I-95 SONG (Asshole Song) is performed by AUGUST and the Spur of the Moment Band on the Pattera Label. Thanks goes out to Tom of Allison Park, PA, USA. Another visitor tells me that the singer's name is David Allen Coe, thanks to Robert R. for the additional info.

Robrob8 has also received the following:

DJ sends this in: I was searching for the lyrics of the I-95 song on the internet. I know it was written by August Campbell because he was NOT ALLOWED to play it at my wedding reception in 1983. In 1983 he played a lot of Jimmy Buffet music and it was great having him and the "Spur of the Moment Band" at my wedding reception. I do remember the I-95 Asshole Song was on the "Pantera" label.
It was definitely written and sung by August Campbell!ft"> Lydia sends this inLydia sends this in: I 95 Asshole song (I have the 45 but didn't go look at it to confirm artist- can if need be) Is different from Rodeo Song - I (vaguely) remember barroom DJs and good jukeboxes in Va Beach -POLO & Catherines also ROADSIDE- Military Hwy, Chesapeake, VA as having either one or both of them in the early 80s. I don't remember who did the Rodeo Song but not that I'm reminded will search and find it. It was one of my favorites back then. I'm 99.9% sure neither song was done by David Allen Coe. Let's see if I can remember the one line that sticks in my head... "WELL, it's 40 below and I don't give a fuck, got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo..(humm here- I don't remember exact words)..Piss me off ! You fuckin' jerk - ya get on my nerves..." There how's that? Best I can do- sorry PS, I just got "Bare's Picks" Bobby Bare import CD. It has BOTH (Pour Me Another) "Tequilla Sheila" AND (She's Doin')"Quaaludes Again" on it. Only cd ever released with both. They used to be 45 flip sides on Jukebox back same time as the I-95 & Rodeo were popular - 1982-3? CDNOW has the Bobby Bare CD - check it out :-) Lydia -(been there done that -less brain cells to show for it)

Mark K sends this in: Just found your site. growing up it was a favorite of mine when i snuck in to the local adult pool hall and playing this song. That was nearly 20 years ago Song title: The Asshole Song
Artist: August and the Band. He is famous for his "trucker ballads".

Some anonymous person sends this in: Noticed quite a bit of discussion on your site while researching this one. Final answer is that the version of "The Rodeo Song" that most people are familiar with is by the Canadian group Showdown, from their 1980 LP "Welcome To The Rodeo". The group was fronted by Garry Lee, who later released the single on a 1994 CD called "The Rodeo Song" in an effort to cash in on its popularity.
A small bit of info about the group can be found at http://www.canadianbands.com/showdownpage.html Hope this settles that debate once and for all. ;-)
 

Henry emailed in:  The "Asshole Song" is actually titled "The I95 Asshole Song" by August and the Spur of the Moment Band. At least that is what is on the label of the 45RPM record that I got in 1986.
Off the label - it was put out in 1983 by Pantera Records, Recorded at: Ocean Sound Studios, Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
By Fred "August" Campbell.t song.

Megs sends this newMegs sends this new information in: it is actually not written by any of those people. it is written by Kip Attaway. famous cowboy parody singer. it is on his "hazerdous material 4" CD. he has a website which you can order the "were you born an asshole" song on his CD and see for yourself, he wrote it. not jimmy buffet or anyone else. www.kipattaway.com

Steven J. sends in: I am surprised that no one has attributed the asshole song to pinkard and bowden. They are the only ones that i have ever heard sing this and i have been led to believe that they are the authors.

Tom writes in: "Hello, song is titled I-88 by Byrd and MacDonald. Hope this helps you."ft"> Al Says "The Asshole Tonight song is actually called the I-95 asshole song and was released on the CD The Copulation Compilation in 1991 by Mobile Productions or Mobile Record Service Company. The famous Rodeo song can also be found on this CD."

"The Asshole Song" of which you have a part on your site (which is great, by the way), is by JIMMY BUFFET. I downloaded it from Napster back in the good old days when Napster still was working. I don't know if it's available from any download site now. Keep up the good work on your site!
Phil (Switzerland). Marla also says that this version is by Jimmy Buffet.

NOTE: Robrob8 has heard the Jimmy Buffet version of this song and I have to agree with Phil, this is an out-take from his version. Thanks Phil !!

Dave writes in: The Asshole Tonight song is actually called the I-95 song and artist is Fred (August) Campbell & The Spur of The Moment Band. It was released on the CD The Copulation Compilation in 1991 by Mobile Productions or Mobile Record Service Company.

John M. emails me and says that the song was originally written and sung by David Allen Coe. I'll try to see if I can find a link to the original album somewhere. Kristie agrees, David Allen Coe is the singer. Gary of 132braincells.com also agrees that D also agrees that David Allen Coe is the singer/song writer.

Gino V., says that The Asshole Song was performed by JUDE, and written by Jude Christodal.

Calvin Agrees: The asshole song is by David Allen Cole, he also does many other songs which some people find offensive, mainly because they are racist songs. But this song is a good song.

Bigwhise says "Its not david allen coe, it sounds like binkert and bowden. I heard them before on the bob and tom show and john boy and billy with the big show". Anyone know who "Binkert and Bowden" are?

Jesse says that Rodney Carrington sings the song. I have never heard of him. Does anyone have some info on this singer/group?ft"> I think that we now have the final word on this quest to find the original singer/writer of the Asshole Song - Please read:
Robrob8, I have in Robrob8, I have in my hand a 45 record with above mentioned song. The artist is "August & the Spur of the Moment Band". The song was written by Fred "August" Campbell and is on Pantera Records and released in 1983. Also it was recorded at Ocean Sound Studios in Ft.Lauderdale, Fla. and engineered by Mike Couzzi. Pantera Records is located at 3081 N.W.24st.Miami Fla. 33142. I hope that helps you out because nobody seems to know who the artist was. I am a D.J. at a local bar and that song used to be requested. That question came up in a trivia contest and they said it was Jimmy Buffett. He might have recorded it but he was not the original artist. I wonder if it available on C.D.,as I no longer play 45's or L.P.'s and on occasion get a request to play it. Thank You, KenDawg8a.

Greg writes this to Robrob8:w this dead horse has been beaten so much there is almost nothing left. I also know the song was recorded by August and the Spur of the Moment. However, on a site on the internet it says that the song was also recorded by Gary Lee and Showdown who did "The Rodeo Song". Here is the site. www.norwalkrecords.com 
I emailed them and asked about this. Here is the response I got:
"Hello,
Thanks for writing to us at Norwalk Records. There are more than one version of the song I-95, which has more than one artist, Gary Lee & Showdown and August & The Spur of the Moment.
Take Good Care,
Mail Order Dept.
Norwalk Records"

I can find nowhere else that attributes this song to Gary Lee. Are these people just feeding me a line or does such a recording exist?


I think that we have ended the open subject on this song, but if you know of any other music artists that have recorded this song,
drop me a line.

NO SCREENSHOT

This is in MP3 format, so whichever MP3 player you are using today will be able to play this song for you, once you have unzipped it.

FILE SIZE OF DOWNLOAD 140 Kb
To Download The Asshole Song CLICK HERE

Interested in the lyrics to the Asshole Song? Here they are as sent in by Mason:

WERE YOU WERE YOU BORN AN ASSHOLE OR DID YOU WORK AT IT YOUR WHOLE LIFE EITHER WAY IT WORKED OUT FINE CAUSE YOUR AN ASSHOLE TONITE. YES YOUR AN A-S-S-H-O-L-E AND DON'T DON'T YOU TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME. YOU DESERVE ALL THE CREDIT CAUSE YOUR AN ASSHOLE TONITE. YOU WERE AN ASSHOLE YESTERDAY. YOUR AN ASSHOLE TONITE AND IVE GOT A FEELING YOU BE AN ASSHOLE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I WAS TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER JUST THE OTHER NIGHT. I TOLD HER I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASSHOLE SHE SAID YES I THINK YOUR RIGHT. AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE ASSHOLES CAUSE YOU'VE KNOW THEM YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND SOME BODY TOLD YOU GOT AN ASSHOLE FOR A WIFE. WERE YOU BORN AN ASSHOLE OR DID YOU WORK AT IT YOUR WHOLE LIFE. EITHER WAY IT WORKED OUT FINE CAUSE YOU AN ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HOLE TONITE.

And here they are sent in by DemikDraal:

The Asshole Song...

Well I was driving down I-95 the other night,
when somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn't going to do any good to get mad,
so I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this...

Were you bo-rn an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an ass-hole tonight.

Yes you're an A-SSHOLE, and don't you try to blame it on me,
you deserve all the credit, you're an asshole tonight.

You were an assho-le yesterday, you're an ass-hole tonight,
and I've got a feeling, you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talking to your mother, just the other night,
I told her I thought you were an asshole, she said "yes, I think you're right".

And a-ll your friends are assholes, 'cause you've known them your whole life,
and somebo-dy told me, you've got an asshole for a wife.

Were you bo-rn an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an ass-hole tonight. align="left"> Mark has sent in more information about this song, here it is:

Hope this helps to settle it, but the tune was written by David Allan Coe. The most popular version was by Fred "August" Campbell and the Spur of the Moment Band.

The versions I've downloaded from Napster and other servers over the years that claim to be from Jimmy Buffet, sound identical to the August Campbell version, leading me to believe that the Buffet version may actually be August's version mistakenly credited to Jimmy and the Coral Reefers.

Anyway, if you want the full lyrics, here they are, as close a I can remember them:

Spoken: I was driven' down I-95 the other day, when some guy cut me clean off the road. I figured it wouldn't do any good to get angry, so I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this:

Sung: Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it all you life? Either way it worked out fine, cause you're an asshole tonight.

Your an (spelled out) A S S H O L E, and don't you try to blame it on me....you deserve all the credit, cause you're an asshole, tonight.

You were an asshole yesterday, you're an asshole, tonight. And I got a feeling, you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it all you life? Either way it worked out fine, cause you're an asshole tonight.

I was talkin' to your mother, just the other night. I told her I thought you were an asshole, she said "Yes, I think you're" right.

And all your friends are asshole's, cause you've known them all your life, and I even heard, you got an asshole for a wife.

Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it all you life? Either way it worked out fine, cause you're an asshole tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Those are the lyrics, as I remember them. I may have mixed up the order of the last two stanzas (the "I was talkin' to you mother" and the "And all your friends" stanzas), but the lyrics are as I remember them. And I just listened to the tune (the one reported by be by J.B.) yesterday (I burned it to disk recently from the original August Campbell and the Spur of the Moment Band 45RPM), so it's very fresh in my mind.

Hope this helps.

MARK
 

BUY IT HERE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This song is "Asshole" and it's by Dennis Leary. Thanks goes to Bill M., for sending me the words. Maybe I can get a copy of the actual song and post it or something... Here are the words:

I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, My kids and my car
my feet on my tableland a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
So i've gotta go out
and have fun at someone else's expense
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Chorus
I'm an assholeX2

I use public toilets and I piss on the seats
I walk around in the summertime sayin how about this heat

Chorus

Sometimes I park in handicapped places
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Chorus

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Naaaaaaa

Chorus

Spoken:

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado Convertable, hot pink with whale skin hub-caps and all leather cow interior and big brown babby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah and I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheese burgers from Mc Donalds in the old fasion, non-biodegradible styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckn' down those greaseburgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American flag and then I'm gonna toss those styrofoam containers right out the side and there ain't a god-damned thing you can do about it, you know why? Cause we got the bombs that's why.

Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons Ok? Russia, Germany, Romania- they can have all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of a difference because we got the bombs OK? John Wayne's not dead-he's frozen. And as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke out and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off he's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpah and a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas.

(Hey you know you really are an asshole)

Why don't you just shut up and sing the song pal.....

I'm an asshole x2
A-S-S-H-O-L-E everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E

 

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